Cracked Roots & Roses 24: Emancipation

Work was a very different place. I was now hurt and paranoid. I avoided him during the workday completely. I didn’t know how this woman looked and expected her to pop up anywhere. I didn’t know a man was capable of getting married and carrying on like he never did. That week, I got roses every other day. I didn’t want the reminder of him, so I put them at the front for the whole office to enjoy and threw the card away. I didn’t need flowers; I needed a new job. He wasn’t one to back down, and me ignoring him was more of a challenge.

This was a sad spot, but even in this, I still didn’t want Jeremy back. That’s how I knew I made the right decision.

A girl at the job knew what was going on behind the scenes and said I should watch “No More Sheets” by Juanita Bynum. I wasn’t sure I wanted to watch. I was still hiding from God and just wanted to forget the “saved” chapter of my life. I had failed so miserably as a Christian that there was no way He could want or use me now. I told her, “That’s okay; I don’t need it.” She bought the VHS for me anyway, so I watched it.

I cried. I cried, and I screamed. I was so damaged and broken. I had never been fixed, and now there was more damage piled on top of everything else. I prayed sincerely to be freed. I wanted mercy. I needed mercy. And I needed a new job to get away from Ahmad. I knew if I stayed, I would give in and be right back under his spell.

God heard and answered that prayer.

A few days later, I clocked in and began walking back to the office when the GM walked up next to me and said, “Hey, do you have a minute?”

“Of course I do,” I replied.

We went into the conference room, and there sat two FBI agents. I sat, not knowing what this was about. One agent asked, “Do you know a man named Gemini Abram?”

I said, “No.”

He slid a file folder over to me with my signature on all the paperwork.

“Oh, yes,” I said. “He purchased a car last Saturday night.”

He asked, “Did you call the check into the bank to verify?”

I replied, “I tried, but the banks were closed. I took the check to Rebecca”—the GM sitting at the table—“and she told me to tender the deal and verify it that Monday.”

Rebecca piped up and said, “Kim, I don’t remember this deal.”

That was a lie. I stared at her until her ears turned red. I knew what she was doing—saving her tail while throwing mine under the bus. At the time, I was mad, but now I see it as answered prayer.

The other agent said, “This guy is with a car theft ring. So far, they’ve stolen four cars in the area with fake checks, and we believe there’s some inside help.”

He continued, “We ran a background on you and know you’ve had some trouble. We know times get hard, and sometimes we do things to survive.”

I frowned and said, “Like I said, I don’t know him. The GM said to tender the deal, so I did. If you have to arrest me, do it, but I will not sit here and be accused of something I didn’t do.”

One agent gave me his business card and told me to go home and think about it. He added, “We’re still open to a deal.”

When they stopped talking, the GM terminated me on the spot.

I got home and cried again. My life was now officially a mess. Then I thought about my prayer. I wiped my face, got on my knees, and thanked God. I had been given a new, unexpected start. I didn’t know how I would survive or what was next, but at least I wasn’t in adultery anymore.

Ahmad tried to call, but I didn’t answer. Not long after, he was at my front door. He was more worried than I was. See, he knew if I didn’t work there, he had no access to me.

I let him in with a smile on my face because that would be the last time I saw him.

“What happened?! I saw you leaving with a box,” he said.

“I was fired,” I replied. “It was that Gemini Abram deal I did for Jimmy. The check was bad. Rebecca told me to tender it, and now she’s saying she didn’t know.”

He was pacing the floor.

“I’m gonna go talk to Rebecca,” he said. “They have to give you your job back. This isn’t right.”

He didn’t know FBI agents were involved or that you don’t just take back a termination.

I nodded and said, “Yes, do that… let me know how it works.”

He said, “You don’t seem concerned.”

I said, “I’m not. I’m just glad to be free. The guilt of being with you has been breaking me down. I am now free.”

He smirked and said, “Okay, well… I’m on a test drive. The guy is looking under the hood downstairs. Call me if you need anything.”

I did not.

I went and applied for unemployment. I was approved the following week. Ahmad eventually stopped calling every day to check on me, which was good. He was not a mean guy, so I never really went off on him—kinda wish I had.

I did get a call from a girl named Char who worked in the office.

She said, “Kim, do you know a guy named Gino?”

That was a blast from the past.

I said, “Yes, why?”

She said, “He called into GCI’s Quiet Storm show to dedicate a song to you last night.”

She cackled loudly. “I knew it was you because this man said your whole name and the high school you went to!”

So, Gino was out of jail—10 years later. I would avoid him completely.

My mom eventually called and told me Gino came by looking for me. She told him I was now married with a kid. She didn’t know I was separated with a kid.

I didn’t want to go back to anyone, especially not to whatever he had going on.

I looked for work for weeks and found nothing. Then my cousin got me a job as a receptionist at a title company. That was fine, but this office was run by two handsome young lawyers. The staff would day-drink in the office every weekend. They would go to clubs and hang out like it was high school.

I didn’t do well in those environments, so I decided I would try to work my way back to God. I started telling people about Jesus, even though I felt unworthy. I did basic Bible studies at lunchtime with a few girls and led three of them to Jesus. I even took two of them to church with me.

My life was turning around until one day the front door to the office opened. In walked the two handsome owners—and Ahmad.

They introduced him as a new, up-and-coming realtor in the area.