Untangled 27: The Third Car

We crossed the state line into the great state of Texas a day later. As if waiting for my arrival, it was sunny and light. It felt different than Illinois, like a fresh start. I wanted to cry—I was so overcome with joy seeing the “Welcome to Texas” sign. We stopped for food at the first sit down restaurant we saw because nothing was shut down for COVID. It was like night and day. Texas was symbolic of freedom; Texas was my Goshen. Texas was my emancipation. I see that now.

His stuff was in the front of the U-Haul trailer, and his lease started that day. My lease started that following Monday, so I had to stay at his place until Monday. He pulled into his complex, went into the leasing office, and came out with his keys. I was in shock. I just knew this was yet another lie. I was waiting for him to walk out and say there was some mixup. He didn’t—he had paperwork and keys. His place was beautiful, much nicer than mine. I still don’t know how he got the place. After everything was moved in, I helped him unpack, organize, and get settled. We even went to TJ Maxx in Irving to get him some stuff for his place. I was happy for him. It didn’t work with me, but I still wanted him to do well, and I told him so. It was possibly his fresh start as well. He could now date women he liked, not those he thought he could use for a car and place to crash. To make sure he would have a good head start, I gave him my king-sized bed, all the linen, and whatever he wanted from my old place.

That Monday, I got moved into my place. It was not as big or nice as his, but it was mine. It was the first time I’d ever lived alone. My place was surprisingly about a mile from his. That was a mystery because I hadn’t even told him the city I was going to. A small part of me thought that was a sign that we should maybe start over. In my ignorance I thought he would suddenly encounter the Lord and be a changed man, that didn’t happen because he has no desire to REALLY know Jesus. Still I wondered what were the chances of him living within a mile of me without knowing where I was going? I realized much later that he was still using my laptop and that the cloud was on my MacBook just like his search history was on my phone. I can’t prove it, but I think that’s the case. There was stuff he knew that he shouldn’t.

That week, we did everything together. It was kinda nice. Then, at the end of the day, he went to his place, and I went to mine. No more loud reality shows all hours of the night or cooking at 2am. I was slowly regaining my peace. I didn’t mind being driven around and helped out, I needed it. Besides he was someone familiar to me. Deep down I knew as soon as I got settled that I would have to become cold and indifferent in order to cut all ties.

First things first, I needed a bed ASAP because I gave him mine. I no longer wanted a king bed—they take up so much space in small apartments. The bed I settled on was out of my price range, so he actually volunteered to get it for me. He opened an account and put the bed in his name. I was thankful, but not too thankful—I was still on the losing end of this relationship. He was reverting back to the man I first met—or should I say, dusting off the old mask. He helped put my furniture together and did all the driving. The conversation piece and authenticity were still missing, though. I don’t think he’ll ever be capable of true human intimacy until he surrenders and gets delivered.

I had been in Texas for a month or so with no job or prospects, so I asked the Lord what I should do. My time as a nail tech was over. I sold everything in Illinois, and that chapter was too painful to revisit. I also didn’t know anyone here, so I couldn’t possibly build a client base during a pandemic. A few days later, I saw an ad on Facebook Marketplace for a salon suite in Frisco. I saw that as a sign, but my heart was still too raw from losing my first salon to really consider doing anything. I couldn’t stop thinking about it, so I checked to see if I could get licensed here. Well, it turns out that Texas and Illinois have the exact same state licensing requirements. All I had to do was pay a fee and transfer my license from Illinois to Texas. I cried. Was this happening? I had no money to open a business here because I had been living on the $10K from my clients and had no income at all. A few days later, I woke up to a deposit in my Chase account for almost $20K! It was back payment from the state of Illinois for unemployment. Unbeknownst to me, President Trump had approved gig workers for unemployment! This was the back pay for months of nonpayment. I immediately applied for a transfer of license. I signed a lease on the salon suite, ordered everything I needed to start over, and went to work as a nail tech two months after arriving in Texas. Within four months, I had a full book of clients based on word of mouth. He is worthy of praise… ALL OF IT.

I needed my car to get back and forth to work. He was currently using it to do gig work to pay his own bills. I told him he needed to find a car because I needed mine. I had been paying on it but driving the old Lexus until I sold it to come down here—it was high time I had my car back. A week had passed with no mention of him getting a car, so I started looking for him a reliable car I thought he could afford. I found a BMW X3 at a dealership for a good price, so we went to see it. It was much smaller than the Explorer and more my speed. He said I should get it for me and went and sat outside in the car. There was a problem because the car needed to go in his name, or he needed to find his own car. I didn’t want the legal responsibility for two cars. I didn’t trust him to pay or to hold a job. I explained this to him and he was noticeably mad—he didn’t want my car in his name. But here’s the deal: he was driving MY CAR. He put up such a fight that I finally said, “Forget it. We don’t have to get the car. Just give me my keys and get your own car.” Oh, that straightened him up. He handed over his license and signed the paperwork. The dealer put him on the deal as the primary, and I was the co-signer. I paid the down payment and drove off with my new-to-me car.

Two days later, the dealer called and said he couldn’t get him approved. He said I needed to put the car in my name alone because my credit and income were better, there was no option to return the car, so I had to go and resign all the documents in my name alone. I was now stuck with two cars in my name anyway.