Untangled 6: Australia

Two days had passed since I left him my phone number, and he hadn’t called. I was beginning to get in my head and overthink. I needed wisdom, so I spoke with a client of mine named Jill about the situation to get an unbiased assessment. She listened to what I said and responded, “You should reach out and tell him you enjoyed the conversation.” I knew Jill was a hopeless romantic and would think this was the start of something wonderful. She had been there through the last saga and just wanted to see me happy and wifed up. After she suggested I reach out, I said, “Nah, maybe there’s a reason he hasn’t called, so I’ll leave it at that.”

She said, “Well, let me see the conversation.” I opened Messenger and handed her my phone. She read the exchange and said, “This looks promising. Maybe he’ll call later.” Then she put the phone face down. After she left, I went back to Messenger to make sure it was closed and saw that Jill had sent him her response! And he had read it, so it was too late for me to delete it. I don’t even think that was an option back then.

Later that evening, he did in fact call. The conversation was monotonous—it felt like he was forcing himself to talk to me. So, I took the lead and began to ask him about his life. Like I told you guys, on Facebook, it looked so interesting! His answers were even more exciting than I could’ve imagined. The conversations got better as the days went on.

About three days after the first phone call, he said he was in Australia on business. I told him to send me a picture—I wasn’t sure why I asked. Now I know it was because I didn’t believe him and wanted to call his bluff. To my surprise, he sent the picture. In the picture, I noticed it was dark outside, and the street lights looked very much like those in Chicago. I asked, “Why is it dark outside there? It’s dark here, Australia is on the other side of the globe.” He said, “Oh, they’re having an eclipse.”

I knew that was a blatant lie and was embarrassed for him. I knew he wasn’t in Australia, but I didn’t know why he had lied. I didn’t really care because there were too many red flags. So, I began to see our conversations as talking to and encouraging a friend. I didn’t see it as interviewing a potential mate. Then he began to call and text more. We would talk and laugh for hours at a time. So, I made excuses for the lies and swept those, along with the red flags, under the rug.